Surrendering and Soaring

How is it that I can finally surrender to God my desires and come out of it feeling like I've been on the most amazing, fun, rollercoaster of all times....unbelievably frightening, certainly crazy, but with a giant smile on my face....feels like the Rockin Roller Coaster at MGM Studios!

In the last few weeks, I've had to surrender to my Lord my strong desire to be primarily at home, my desire to care for my grandchildren on an unlimited basis, my desire to go for a run each and every morning, my desire to control my own schedule of when to shower, dress, work, do laundry, do yardwork, etc. etc. I've had to, in doing so, deeply change my sister's life, causing her pain and significant inconvenience. I've had to tell my pastor I'm not available any more to serve in a capacity I thought Jesus wanted.


I cried, I prayed, I pleaded, I got angry...I fussed some more, I wept, I agonized...I was miserable. Then I did my Bible Study. Once again, HE knew what I needed to study, what lesson I needed to prepare to teach.

The Rich Young Ruler. So together, so spiritual, so helpful, so right. One thing more to do, Jesus said....sell everything, and follow me.


It wasn't all about the money, it was about what defined that rich young ruler. His success, his plans, his dreams...all he had become.


Can I give up this part of me that defines who I am? Can I give up who I thought I was?


Jesus said "with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible"


So this last week, I went back to work full time for the first time in 31 years. My husband and I had to tell my dear, sweet, sister that her job was being taken by me. My dear, sweet sister needed to file for unemployment. My dear, sweet sister is so sweet. She has no anger at us, she is worried about me. My older, much wiser sister, so willing to give up all. She is so far ahead of me in understanding surrender.


But, I am learning. I am surrendering. I am choosing to take HIS hand in mine, and let him lead me on this new journey.


Know what? I had fun. I had frustrations, I had to readjust my body, I ran behind in my schedule, I got my son to school late. I made mistakes. However, I took that step and rode the roller coaster. It was terrifiying. But I came off the ride smiling, not puking. I'm gonna keep riding. And with my hand in my Saviors, the impossible will be possible. I will surrender.


I love having Jesus the driver of my life. I'm sorry Lord for wanting to drive myself. Please be my driver. Take me on the roller coaster ride you intended. Now I'm soaring.

Joan's Burgers and Brew Night

One of the sweetest times on earth is having everyone back in the nest for an evening. It happens so rarely, that I just can't let go of it! Last night was such a night. Gathered because of the Olympics, two birthdays, and circumstances, we grabbed the occasion to enjoy Joan's Burgers and Brew.

This has a longgg history here. For as long as I can remember, Friday night was the night to take a break from coming up with something to cook. We ALWAYS have Burgers on Friday night...in the summer, with chips and dip, in the winter, baked french fries. Throw in some fruit and we're good to go. Pop is ok too. Moms of 5 need a break. Since my lovely hubby does not enjoy cooking, I grab the flipper and head outside to the grill. Thus...the Joan's Burgers and Brew name.

After the food was prepared, I savored the moments of laughter, emptying of cabinets by one year olds, and the "skating around the island" of the 8, 5, and 3 year old...with son Shane counting the time for our "Junior Olympics"! There were tired parents, crabby one year olds, and lots of chaos. When son Lance asked me if it was too crazy, I just smiled. Just imagine, my dear son, Lance, when your kiddos are adults, how weird it would be to go weeks without seeing them. I'm treasuring this chaos!!

When the last car left, I was left with an empty house, hubby took a nap, 15 year old watched tv. As I cleaned the last dish, set the chairs on the table for a good vacume and floor scrub, I thanked the Lord for each of my lovely children, and the joys their marriages and children have brought to my soul. I'm kinda tired today. It's been a busy week at work, and after they were gone, it was back to the computer for a bit more work preparing for next week. Am I happy? I'm glowing. Thanks, Lord, for Clint, Lance, Megan, Shane, Alec....it was a ton of work raising them...I'm not finished yet, but the joy of being a parent and grandparent, and being in a loving relationship with their dad is the best!!

God is Good. And I LOVE Joan's Burgers and Brew.